Suicide And Domestic Violence

Many don’t think of threats of suicide being a part of domestic violence, but it’s a very common tactic used by abusers to make the victim/survivor feel they are responsible. Threats of suicide may allow the abuser to maintain control over the victim/survivor.

Threats of suicide often occur when the victim/survivor is getting ready to leave or has already left the abusive situation. Often the abuser will include the children in his threat by indicating they will do it in front of them, or in extreme cases threaten to kill the children and/or the victim first before taking their own lives. It’s so common that it’s included in the power and control wheel, a tool used by advocates and victims to help identify the types of abuse they have been experiencing.

Victims/survivors need to know that they are not responsible for these threats nor are they responsible if the threats are carried through. This is a choice made by the abuser to maintain power and control.

Resources are available at Turningpoint to help individuals, families, and community members understand the complex issue of domestic violence.

Alena Taylor, Domestic Violence Services Coordinator
715-425-6751 x104

Avatar of Kim Wojcik

About Kim Wojcik

Kim Wojcik is the Executive Director of Turningpoint for Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence. Please feel free to reach her by phone at 715-425-6751 x102 or contact her via email. We also welcome you to visit us on Facebook and find us on Twitter.
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4 Responses to Suicide And Domestic Violence

  1. Kimberly Quamme says:

    Alena,
    Thank you for sharing this. We often forget that threats of violence towards self or others is a part of power and control.

    • Larissa says:

      Rocky and anyone who stops by to read: figthing domestic violence is one of the Verizon Foundation’s key initiatives, along with literacy. Funds are typically managed on a state-by-state basis, so if you are seeking support for a domestic violence initiative, find someone who works for Verizon in your state and ask them to help.

  2. Anon says:

    My ex fiance just committed suicide 2 weeks ago. We got into an argument and he flew into a mad rage and attacked me, choked me, then went for a gun and i ran out of the house. He shot himself in the head. He had been prone to rage and this ironically was why i was in the process of leaving him. Was this a last attempt to control me? To destroy me? was i at fault for this since we were arguing and he was upset i was leaving him?…im so lost and confused on how i should feel.

    • Avatar of Lucy Lucy says:

      I’m so sorry to hear your story. :(

      Please understand that this was NOT your fault. And, yes, it was a last, terrifying attempt at control.

      Have you ever read, Why Does He Do That, by Lundy Bancroft? That book really helped me to let go of the guilt that was really never mine to carry, and helped me better understand the many ways I had been controlled and manipulated. It was a real eye-opener.

      Sending out lots of love.

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